Often when I ask the participants of my workshops what is that one thing you love about yourself the most.
Mostly the answers that come are:
“I love that I am able to take care of family well”. (Well! You are a responsible person and you have done your duty well… So check where does this taking care of other people come from? Identify Are you absolutely happy and non-expectant of other people. If yes! Then ofcourse this is one of the good qualities you have.)
“I love that I can accommodate people well, I am very forgiving person.” (Now are you really a forgiving person or you don’t know how to speak out, or want to avoid any conflicts so you make yourself understand that it is better to forgive. If you really are a kind of person who forgives then you would forget the situations which were unpleasant. Or since you want to avoid altercations hence you made yourself believe this, do check on this.)
“I love that I understand people well.” (Yes! That is a wonderful quality but if you are the only person understanding in most of the relationships then you have something to ponder upon.)
Mostly our answers are dependent on what others think of us or how we take care or what we do for others. Our validation comes from outside more than inside.
My question to all these people have always been, “had those people around you were not there to appreciate the things you do for them, what would you love in yourself the most?”
Not many people have been able to identify it.
Not many people gave themselves that importance to look within, give themselves the priority and ask about what is that one thing in me I like the most.
What is that one thing if no appreciation came from people around me I would still love myself?
Loving self is so dependent on the conditions, appreciation, situations around us.
How can we love ourselves no matter what?
First steps towards understanding oneself are…
- Take some time off from everything, sit with yourself and ask yourself. Am I absolutely happy with the way I am doing things around me?
- If the answer comes ‘Yes’!! You are right on the track, Bravo!
- If the answer comes ‘No’ ask yourself again ‘what in me is not happy and what about it is not making me happy.’
- Once you have identified that no so happy quotient of your life.
- Check what in your capacity you can do to bring that gentle change in yourself.
- Now that you want to change your outlook towards something break that into very small baby steps as we have been so used to living in a particular manner that we resist change at a very subconscious level. If you won’t do so you will see yourself repeating the similar pattern.
Once you have understood yourself and things you really like doing and you are not so comfortable doing you would have taken a major step towards loving yourself. Love yourself and Life will love you back with many beautiful wonderful moments, situations and people.
Keep Loving… Keep Laughing.