Are you ready to take that first step to transform your life?
This is in continuation of my last post, Fake it till you make it.
I felt the need to explain it further.
Faking it, in my understanding, tells me that I have an issue and I’m choosing not to look at it. There can be various reasons for me to not look at it – there may be pain,trauma, hurt, resentment, it may make me feel less confident so on and so forth. Hence I choose to stay in denial of it. That way I feel safe and I’m also in the space where I think I’m working on the issue.
The question I will ask myself here is, Am I really working on resolving the issue?
Or does this touch the surface of whatever I face and keeps me sane and in the status quo.
Having said, that I would like to add here. If I truly and totally believe and feel in my inner core that:
Every word we speak, every thought we think, every feeling we have, has a major impact on our well being. And we have to pick ourselves up each time and tell ourselves I let go of my past and I am happy in my now and I am looking forward to my future.
It’s a conscious effort one needs to put in along-with chanting the Affirmation for the change we are so looking forward in life.
In the end I will just like to add one thing, When we smell some bad odor we not only work on removing the smell, we also look at the source of where it is originating from. We do that in order to eradicate the foul smell from its source.
From my heart to yours 💕
“Fake it till you make it”. Isn’t that a lot of motivational speakers say?
Affirm everyday and you will be sorted. You will achieve what you are seeking .
In my opinion and personal experience, Affirmations don’t work until and unless we know exactly where the issue is stemming from.
When we face certain issues in our physical body. We don’t sit and affirm ‘I’m healthy’. We visit the doctor to figure out what is happening in our physical body? We follow the expert’s instructions to bring it back to it’s healthy state. Would you there apply, Fake it till you make it?
If we don’t neglect our physical body just by affirming to it. Then why would we do this to our emotional and mental state?
When we are faced with an issue, stuck in a pattern or emotionally disturbed, we try to push it under the carpet by saying all will be fine soon. All is well.
Is it really well? If that is the case it it shouldn’t bother us for a long period of time.
Yes, I also understand a lot of situations however unnerving they may be, do not have a deeper cause. If disturbing situations are one off, then it is absolutely okay to pull oneself up and say ‘All is well’ and look at the brighter side.
However; if similar situations, similar emotions, similar patterns are appearing in life and we aren’t attending to them. If we are always pulling ourselves up and bringing the STRONGER, WARRIOR side of us by saying “All is well, Everything is alright”. Then trust me, these issues get bigger and bigger.
Our strong emotions such as anger, pain, rejection, anxiety etc. are like little children asking for attention and acknowledgement. Until and unless we attend to them, they keep throwing tantrums making a mess within and around us.
Is it possible to quieten this child once it is in it’s worse state of being?
Yes! By attending to it. isn’t it?
However, just by giving temporary attention this brat may quieten him for the time being but it will act out soon enough. His behavior is not going to change by attending to the present scenario. Further investigation will be required to determine what is making this child so “DRAMATIC”.
Why is he upset?
What is ticking him off?
Is he hungry, thirsty, hurt, feeling neglected ?
What can be done to make him/her feel more secured and happy?
Our emotional and mental state is also like this little child. Hiding behind these words “All is well”, “I’m happy”, “I am loved”, “I’m enough” is not going to bring it back to a happy joyous state.
I’m not denying the role of affirmations. Surely, it can be used as one of the tools to further enhance the journey of self recovery.
However, disturbing emotions and patterns require proper attention and tender love. They do need further inquiry so that the issue can be eradicated from the core . Just as when we are facing health issues, we do the tests to rule out certain diseases.
In the long run just by telling oneself happy things and thinking happy thoughts doesn’t work. It only keeps one in the illusion of being happy vis-a-vis being happy in its true form.
From my heart to yours 💕
This happened many months back. I felt like sharing it with you today.
I saw a dream very vividly, it was someone I knew getting shot in front of me in super bizarre circumstances and I was shocked out of my guts & trying to comprehend what happened. I remember a thought entering my mind in my dream “We die every single day and take birth every day” and I woke up with that thought engraved in me.
That day I go for the yoga session and my yoga guru tells me to breathe while doing the asana. “The old tissues are going to get discarded from the body and new ones will be formed so keep breathing deeply. ”
It is so true, every single day so many cells of our body die and so many of them are formed. And we are not even aware of that death and birth cycle that goes on in our body.
if we understand this process then we aren’t the same person, the same body we were few months back.
His sentence just hit a chord, a strong feeling overtook me.
I started to question myself as to why do I cry over dead moments, those moments that are gone and will never come back?
Why do I have regret over those dead moments which can’t be revived and can’t be lived again?
What happened in past is dead, gone and over. If I can’t go back in time to rectify the mistakes I made, is there a point in having that regret of not doing it correctly?
Having said that had I not made those mistakes, I wouldn’t have been the same person that I am today.
So the question I need to ask myself isn’t whether the past can be rectified but “Do I like this person, I have become today?”
If the answer is Yes, then I have done few things right as well in the process 🙂
If No! then what is it that’s in my hands and what is it that I can do to make my life a happier and a better one so that I like the person I am.
What is yet to come and what I am living now is of importance. Now is in my hands and in the Now, I can create wonderful, beautiful moments by staying in the awareness.
In the Now, I can take the step to be a better version of myself so that I can be in love with that person I have become. And when I look at myself in the mirror, I can tell myself “I love you.”
There was this exercise we were made to do as a part of Self Acceptance. We were to stand in-front of the mirror look into the eyes of this person we saw at the other side our image and say it out loud, “I love you!” with all our feelings.
It was terrifying for me to even look into my own eyes. All I could see was flaws in this person standing infront of me. So many areas she could do better and be better.
and Today, when I look into my eyes I can feel the love and definitely say it out loud to myself, “I love you.”
Now that doesn’t mean that all my flaws have gone and I have become this perfect person. It only means that I have become comfortable in my own skin and I have accepted my imperfections as me.
I have let go of my past to define me, dropped the baggages I was carrying and I have opened my arms to the abundance of all that is yet to come to me.
From my heart to yours 💕
When I was doing my Hypnotherapy course and we came to the Module of ‘Past life’ .
As a demo in the class, I went through a very interesting and exciting past life regression which ungrounded me for days together.
That past life experience was intense and very real to me but the facilitator didn’t really give much importance to it at that point in time. She dismissed me by saying there is a possibility that you witnessed that life and you were experiencing someone else’s life.
Her attitude was hugely disappointing to me and a big hit to my Ego because I felt I was that person whom I saw in my regression and I wanted to have that feel good factor which was denied by the Authority on the subject.
What I saw in my regression is of no importance here.
What I gained of it, IS.
Now as I’m unlearning and evolving the saying “Aham Brahmasmi” makes a whole lot of sense and I understand what the facilitator was trying to say back then, I was just not ready at that point in time.
Just a few days back, I was talking to a friend of mine and she said when we die, we will return much more prepared in our next life.
It occurred to me during our conversation, there is no next time for this entire package that I am today. If and When I come back, I will be a different combination for a different set of experiences.
I’m just a drop from that collective consciousness and if I am that tiny little drop from that ocean so are You. We will go back to that ocean and there will be no You and I.
Since we are all drops from that collective consciousness, You and I are ‘One’. What you are experiencing, I have gone through it at some point in my life time or in some other life. And what I’m experiencing either you have experienced it or you will be experiencing it someday or in some life.
Earlier ‘We are One’, ‘I am that’ never made any sense to me. But now it DOES.
When I will return and you will return back home, we will merge in that big pool of consciousness so why do I judge you?
Why do I criticize you?
Why do I envy you?
Why do I feel lesser or more than you?
All that I see in you, exists in me.
Hence, it is said if you want to see the change around you, bring the change within yourself ☺️
What do you see within and around you?
What change would you like to see in the other or should I say Yourself?
From my heart to yours 💕
I have been in depression for good part of my life. If I look back now, I think from the age of 7-8 till the age of 42-43 years. A good 35 plus years. For the last 5 years I’m managing it well. Let me tell you one thing it is not easy to reach out and speak about the emotions/feelings. It is not easy to trust people. There is a huge fear of judgement, non-acceptance, rejection so on and so forth.
It’s easier to create an inner cocoon to rest/fantasize/internalize the feelings. It is easier to create a wall around yourself. Sometimes, it is easier to portray a happier chirpier one in the group.
And trust me when I say no one can understand what you are going through.
People who love you dearly, who want the best for you get tired of your mood swings, and irrational behavior. It’s not their fault because “They don’t know.”
They don’t know that you are in depression, they don’t know what exactly are you going through, they don’t know you don’t have enough skills to express what you are going through and you don’t have enough tools to come out of it. For that matter even they don’t have enough skills to help you out of it.
I have been told how I was a difficult person to be around, to force myself to do things, to snap out of it, to not to be so dramatic, to not to be so vulnerable, to work on myself and create a discipline and many such things.
They can’t understand because they haven’t gone through it. They can’t understand because it’s a very complex, uncomfortable emotional state.
Meanwhile, you just keep going more and more internal. All those insecurities and those fear are very real and huge. Waking up in the morning becomes an effort. To go out, face the world and to do any task looks like a humongous mountain to climb at every moment. Slowly your hormonal glands also start secreting those sad hormones in you. Medicines help to some extent. However, you don’t even feel motivated to take those medicines. It becomes part of your personality. It becomes you.
I have tried committing suicide twice in my life. So, I know that moment feels like as if you are possessed and all your demons are standing in front of you. Your mind is tired of thinking and overthinking and it just wouldn’t stop making those noises inside your head. Emotions also get too much to deal with.
It need not be something drastic that makes you take that step. It can something very petty and small which brings that moment where you feel, you can’t take it anymore.
Luckily for me, one fine day it was literally a wake-up call to deal with my emotions when I slapped my 3-year-old son on his bare back while bathing him. The sight of him crying, and asking for forgiveness was too much to deal with. Poor thing! He didn’t even know what he was sorry for.
I completely broke down; I was literally on my knees asking for help from the Universe. I recognized the anger in me. And I thank God for that moment at all times. I have asked for my son’s forgiveness many a times. He is 17 plus now so I’m sure I have been forgiven for that slap☺️☺️
I thank God on numerous occasions that it made me realize that I was living in some make belief world and was not ready to face the reality of life. I was so angry with the world, with my family, with myself.
I was numbing myself, trying not to feel anymore and not allowing life to flow through me. I was too complex, doubting others’ intentions, judging them, nothing shocked me, nothing made me happy, no amount of love made me feel secured, always doubting my own abilities to do anything, jealous of others. You talk about a negative emotion and I have felt that.
It woke me up from my dream world and gave me strength little by little to seek out and find who am I. Where do I belong. What my core strengths are. What my priorities are.
Am I completely out of it?
No, I don’t think so. It’s been a journey and I am still treading it.
There are mostly good times and some little times where it kicks in. Now I know, how to handle it so all is good.
Why did I tell you this?
Just for you to know, it is not easy for the person who is depressed, or going through some turmoil to ask for help.
If you see signs in a person withdrawing, not wanting to meet, or being out of his/her character do make some efforts to know more.
If you really want to help then take steps to give them that help:
That is good enough
From my heart to yours <3
Reiki is that Prana/Ki/Chi which flows in us freely and abundantly. The disease itself speaks of being at dis-ease, which is nothing but prana getting blocked. Once Prana/Ki/Chi starts to flow in us as it is meant to be, all the physical, emotional and mental issues start to dis-appear.
I read this article somewhere and I felt like sharing it with all of you. Do leave a comment if it makes sense to you or brings some perspective.
These two practices have come up for me recently, and I find them to be very useful and potent…
Off lately whatever I wish for/crave for/think of miraculously happens. Now that is also a big responsibility because I have to be super careful to be positive and optimistic at all times.
Since I am starting my venture “Daanpeti” it is imperative that I clarify questions many have regarding my ‘Pay as you Like’ sessions:
“Why do you not keep a fixed amount for the sessions?’
“Why do you keep it Pay as you like?”
“A dark cloud is no sign that the sun has lost his light”
When Reiki first came into my life, I was unaware that it will change my life forever. My introduction to ‘Reiki was through a fellow dancer in some dance class and I saw him all glowing, calm and composed. I don’t even remember his name now.
I have clients asking me questions and whenever they were facilitated into figuring their answers out. Their response has always been “Oh, It is that simple!
It was time for Ganpati to go and an emotional time for us. Dhruv asks me if we could have him forever. Even I wasn’t so ready to say Good Bye to him. As usual, HE has a dialogue with me and teaches me a very important lesson of my life of ͚’Letting Go͛’.
We hosted Ganpati (Elephant God) this year, and the energies were joyous. HE taught me so many things in such a simple manner.
“With all that love and longingness Earth awaits the Sun to come back and shower her with his wonderful, energising energy. After all these years Earth never told Sun that I own you and look what happened with that kind of love. The whole world is illuminated.”
Dr Wayne Dyer
I am a mother of 12 year old boy. Dinner table conversations with friends’ evoked memories and questions in my head regarding dating and sex by the younger generation.
Pranayama is generally understood as breath control, it is true partially; as Prana is not intake of breath it is the ‘Life force energy’ in us which flows freely. When this prana can’t flow freely in our body we start manifesting mental, physical emotional issues.
When we are going through an issue it becomes so big in our head that our mind starts controlling us. I have always maintained mind is part of us; we are not part of our minds. Let us understand how we can become in charge of mind.
“Reiki is love,
Love is wholeness,
Wholeness is balance,
Balance is well-being,
Well-being is freedom from disease”
This is the ability to taste something that isn’t actually there. This experience mostly comes from out of the blue when a deceased loved one is attempting to communicate a memory or association we have with a particular food or beverage that reminds us of them.
This is being able to smell odors that don’t have any kind of physical source. This could smell of the perfume or a cigar/cigarette smoke of someone alive or dead, used as a sign of their presence around in ethereal way.
This is when we hear words, sounds or music in our own mind’s voice.
The Circle of Love is the website and blog of Swati Mishra, Experiential Therapist and Mentor. Swati works with adults of all ages and from different walks of life to help them navigate and overcome their emotional, mental and physical challenges.
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