Last evening during the feedback of my Art Therapy Methodology book, I realized I take in too much on my plate, more that I can digest in a literal sense and otherwise.
My way of learning is to look at a particular topic from a 360 degree perspective. And in order to do that I tend to take in too much information. Usually that information is more than what is required for me to digest at that time.I usually tell myself that I will come back to this later and I will be able to learn more about that topic now that I have this extra ainformation. However that day almost never comes as I am already onto something else and enquiring about it .
In my self-introspection space, I realized how typically I pick up 2-3 books at the same time. All of this is generally when I am trying to grasp an understanding about a subject. This excess information tends to throw me off my balance and it is absolutely not required for me to know at this point in time.
The zeal to know and understand takes me so deep into the topic that I finally don’t do much about it. Finally Books start to overwhelm me, studying them makes me nervous because I don’t know which one to read first. You see I want to devour them all together and take in the information at once.
it is clear that My style of learning is learning of a hoarder.
I am aware that It comes from a deep guilt of not studying enough and not giving my best in my growing up years. That insufficiency and inadequate feeling of not knowing enough has dug its heels deep within me.So today whatever I learn, whatever I do is never enough for me.
Slowly it is also gets clear that it seems to be a theme of my life.I used to eat a lot, I still do however it now strictly restricted to those foods which I eat occasionally. these foods may or may not be of my liking I still consume it. My stomach may not have enough space for it, I still eat it
I have been a hoarder of memories, of things, of knowledge, food. I accept that part of me and working on this accumulation slowly yet steadily. I can’t really shake off who I am fundamentally. I am sure this style of learning alse gives me a deeper understanding about so many areas of certain subjects. However in general I am trying to be lighter and be minimalistic in my approach towards life.
Somehow I managed to let go of the painful memories (well most of them), of things (clothes some of them still not able to), knowledge (seems to be never enough), and food (I am halfway there)
I am slowly learning to accept what I can’t let go off, hold on to what I can and welcome what I require.
What about you, Who are you?
A hoarder – Do you go all in and don’t know how to come out of it or manage it?
A Passerby – Do you stand on the sideways, fantasizing how things will be if you took that action?
A Sensible one – Who know when to stop, what to take, how much to take?
An impulsive one – Just on a whim doing things?
A practical one – Always looking at the practicality of things, situations?
P.S. As ususal I got the guidance. It still amazes me how universe supports and guides me. This time it is about how to manage my time productively.A wonderful article by Aishwarya Agrawal.
Sharing it with all of you 🙂