What does forgiveness mean to you?
Does it mean that you are now okay with whatever happened to you and you are now ready to move on with your life?
Does this happen in the real world? Is forgiveness that easy to exercise that we start our life over quickly.
I have been working on forgiving few people and believe me; it took me a really long time to forgive those people who hurt me. No matter what I did, I held onto that hurt, pain, betrayal, abandonment. It just didn’t seem the right thing to do. I blamed them and regretted being in that position, for having met them. The irony is, I never looked at myself and said, ‘Hey! What were you doing when this person betrayed you. Or misbehaved with you, or hurt you.’
I never questioned myself for not standing up for myself. And when I asked myself such question, I rather blamed myself too much and got on a guilt trip. I relied too much on others to support me which obviously did not come my way. How could it have? Life had to teach me some lessons. I looked at others, looked for the support outside of me. But life and thankfully the practices I did, the books that came my way, friends I made along the path got me looking at myself.
People came in my life for a reason. Every time I have been betrayed a lesson accompanied the betrayal, a message to stand up for myself. Every time I got hurt, the message was loud and clear to love myself. Isn’t it beautiful that whatever we need to work upon the Universe creates a situation for people, and us to play our respective roles and bring out that missing quality? A test that makes us stronger that prepares us better for life. And all we do is get so involved in the situation that we forget why the situation was created in the first place. What in me was missing or what in me was required in order to avoid such a situation. We get entangled in the petty drama of blaming others, cribbing about the situation, feeling miserable about oneself, Getting angry with others and self sometimes. Whereas simplest way could be to just look at it objectively and ask why the situation come into my life? What am I gaining from it? What am I learning from it?
Forgiveness for me is to acknowledge the part the other played in my life in order to bring a certain quality of life in me. That brings me to a place of peace and acceptance with the entire situation and the people in my life. It also doesn’t allow me to berate myself for not having stood up for myself.
What about you?